As creatures of growth, we are prone to failure. As animals of emotion, we are gripped and animated by our feelings, taking actions or saying things that, in later hours of quiet retrospect, we come to lament. Our relationships may be affected by our words and actions, which we come to regard as mistakes. Or perhaps we take a more defensive position in favor of our egos, justifying our behaviors and rationalizing them. It is always important and meaningful to wonder: could we truly have behaved differently in the past, or are we judging ourselves too harshly with wisdom and insight that was gained through our failure and mistake itself?
In physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. When we examine the biophysics of our neurons and central nervous systems, we find these are systems of tremendous layered complexity that are also impacted by every action. Everything we do, think, and say, leaves a residue on our minds, shifting the connections between neurons. The net effect of the integration of all these tiny biochemical differentials determines our macroscropic consciousness and awareness. We are “more” than the sum of our parts in a very deep physical, metaphysical, and metaphorical sense.
Mistakes and reflection are essential ingredients and catalysts for our growth. Our youths, adolescence, and adulthoods are filled with a plethora of trying circumstances, emotions, and actions. Who we were yesterday and the things we did or said in the heat of the moment are not reflective of our whole, and the people we will be tomorrow. But others tend to judge us based on a tiny sliver of a snapshot they had, interpreted through the lens of their limited experiences. People then tend to be creatures of grave misinterpretation. We never truly can or will understand others, but we so often presume we do, and act on those presumptions or become rooted to them.
Therefore, forgiveness for others is essential. Recognizing our own limited ability to understand anything at all is a hallmark of wisdom. But most people walk with an air of certainty that is rooted in falsehood. No matter what, reality in its absolute truth is completely unfathomable by a system as limited in its scope and being as a human, no matter how infinite and deep our spirits are.
Yet people form impressions and judgments over the smallest things. We get angry and swept up over how we are misinterpreted, our egos swelling into visceral tides and swells of searing heat and entropy. These storms sweep us within, animating us to actions and emotions in the moment that can cause real and lasting damage and leave a scorched earth.
But the same way a forest fire is regenerative, returning nutrients to the soil for regrowth, these internal storms allow us to regrow, to evolve, to spring new life from our past actions as we move towards a brighter future.
Do not root yourself to your past, to your anger, to hatred, to emotions, to the judgements of others. Believe in yourself; you are so much more than what you or anyone thinks. See too the light and potential in others; witness their spark of truth and the infinite shared wellspring from which all life, and indeed, all consciousness springs.
If you make a mistake, give yourself room. Sometimes we must be angry, say terrible things, and react incongruously to perceived judgment. This is part of our egoic maturation, it is how we learn to stand up for ourselves and others, to make room for ourselves, but also to learn how to not be. We must experience unfairness or be unfair to develop a well-informed conceptualization of what unfairness even is. Experience is the best teacher, and must be paired with reflection, emotional intelligence, and intellect.
I wish we could learn simply by reflection alone. Simply by meditating, and not having to hurt others. Maybe we can. Perhaps there are geniuses out there. But suffering seems to be a part of our existence; and it seems to be not something to decry but to endure and internalize gracefully.
Ah, life is lives in the space between valleys and mountains. It is the space in the bellows by which air is pushed, to breathe spirit into fire and kindle and ignite the spark of creation into the roaring forge of the cosmos.
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