Life and Control

Things happen. Life happens. Disruptions happen.

As human beings, we have an inherent desire for control and predictability. It’s an obsession or compulsion for some, even. But no matter how hard we try, we can never absolutely control reality.

To compensate, we invent goals or endpoints for ourselves. We imagine outcomes and the steps we have to take to realize those outcomes. We constantly decompose and tackle abstract objectives in this manner.

The inherent problem with this approach to reality is discussed by Nietzsche. Once we attain our goals, we feel a sense of accomplishment, but then very quickly invent another goal to aspire towards. In a sense, we’re never satisfied.

Working for What You Want

And what of all the effort taken towards our goals? Oftentimes, we adopt a mentality of “acceptable inconvenience.” People accept being “inconvenienced” (mentally speaking) in order to work towards a goal they have. But nothing needs to be an inconvenience: this is a mindset. The drudgery and drollery leading to accomplishment can be invigorating in and of itself: if we focus on the now instead of the goal.

People dislike doing things – why? If they are working towards a goal, they should enjoy what they are doing. The whole journey should be worth it. And yet, we become fixated on the goal and a mentality of achieving it at any cost. This fixation leads to a degree of impatience in which we devalue the steps leading up to the goal, sometimes greatly so. We forget to enjoy and savor the beauty of our own struggle, and therein lose the greatest joy of the journey.

“Sacrifice” is what people call it. But how much is really sacrifice, and how much is some kind of messed up mental sadism that is the byproduct of a haphazard and conflicting set of societal and individual philosophies in a person? Why can’t people simply set a goal, forget about the goal, and love working and struggling every leg of the journey?

Goals are Worthless

Our self-imagined goal-seeking behavior has a tendency to make us more miserable overall. It can lead to some very messed up behaviors in some people. All of these behaviors are reinforced using our egos, which invent a sense of accomplishment or feel-good around our goals to motivate us. This can be used to motivate us to ends that may not be healthy or beneficial, both to ourselves and to others.

These egos which invent goals are a byproduct of a judgement-driven existence in which we are constantly contemplating “better” or “worse.” Societies and families nurture these egos according to the norms and principles of the times, the culture, and the region.

There is an alternative approach to life: simply experience without judging. This “naked” enjoyment is what enables you to appreciate the beauty of a flower, of a sunset; to bask in the symmetries of pure geometric patterns, or wonder at the behaviors of animals. True, not everyone is capable of putting themselves aside enough to enjoy these things. As humans, we deeply value individuals who are able to cultivate a judgement-free approach to existence.

Living judgement-free is much more difficult to implement in human society, because we are, all of us, naturally inclined to judge. When one person demonstrates ego, others very naturally demonstrate their own egos. However, the ego is intent on control, and thus, no one’s ego can ever win, except in a vain sense.

Instead, we simply enter into egoic pacts – social hierarchies.

It’s how our minds are wired. Therefore, living “freely” in this way (free of judgement) requires you to to be able to unlearn everything you have conditioned yourself to think, feel, perceive, or believe. It requires you to see past many human stereotypes and judgements and cultivate an open mind.

Everyone is capable of this, but most of us choose not to do it. It is not easy and our lives are inundated with tremendous amounts of stimuli and decisions that need to be made. Being judgmental and biased makes it easier to make decisions. It takes a particularly objective and detached mind to be judgement-free.

The Fantasy of Ego

Our egos invent a vision or a narrative for ourselves around our goals, and how we will feel when we accomplish them. This narrative is a delusion, a fantasy. It is an invention and a tool.

Reality will never be as good as the delusional invention, the pure instrument of thought contemplated by the ego. Therefore, having a goal is worthless. Reality will, by definition, never be good enough. It is the impure counterpart to the pure infinity of thought.

Most people are annoyed by reality rather than finding ways to enjoy it: that seems a waste. They make their lives unnecessarily harder because they are constantly fixated on what they want rather than appreciating the moment.

They lack the imagination to appreciate the moment, even, because they have made value judgements on everything. Instead of taking and appreciating existence as it is, and being grateful for it, humans are constantly deciding whether their current state is good or bad, and how to make it better.

This isn’t our natural conditioning. This is an artifice invented by a capitalistic society that values production over the well-being of its population. Living this goal-driven existence is tantamount to allowing yourself to be programmed.

“What?” you exclaim. “Having goals means I’m allowing myself to be programmed?! That’s a ridiculous claim!”

Perhaps. Perhaps what is truly ridiculous is that you should have been coaxed unknowingly into allowing yourself to be programmed by the system: fed a series of goals and definitions for “success” so that you will, unknowingly, work not for your own betterment, but for the profits of others.

If you examine your goals closely, dissect your reasons for pursuing those goals and the underlying values which guide you – if you truly examine yourself with the intent of understanding, and not simply with the desire of proving me wrong (which is an easy, but equally, vain task) – I am certain you will inevitably come to a conclusion close to what I am saying.

The Cost of Ego

Certain materially successful individuals will scoff at what I am suggesting. This is fine. Material success tends to box one’s thinking in to materialistic ends and profit-oriented goals. Such a personality naturally tends to lack a capacity of truly abstract thinking, as such thinking is often labeled “useless.” People who are materially driven lack the necessary aloofness and detachment to seek deeper truths in existence.

The issue with any kind of goal is that psychology dictates you’ll constantly be measuring yourself against the accomplishment of your goal. Every action will be weighed in terms of how much “closer” it brings you to the fruition of a particular goal. You will lose sight of the inherent joy of simply taking action, which is the truest joy of being.

If you have ambitious goals, that makes it all the more problematic to accomplish them. This drastically affects your actual sense of joy in life. Instead of appreciating the moments and the hard work, you are constantly vivisecting moments into metrics that affirm your sense of progress.

This can be rewarding because it offers a structure for accomplishing your goals and a sense of constant progress, but it can be much more punishing, grueling, and difficult to maintain in the long-run because it abstracts everything into a slog that “must be done.”

“When will it ever end?” you might find yourself wondering. “Perhaps in death, I can find peace.”

You Can Be Successful Without Goals

If you carefully examine a variety of historical individuals who might be esteemed as “successful” (by virtue of being remembered in history), a great many of them didn’t traverse life with a clear blueprint or set of goals. Many of them simply took life as it came and did the best they could, in the vein of their own human spirit.

This is a much freer and more organic way to exist and flow.

You can argue it’s luck or serendipity, but much of life boils down to attitude and perspective. Doing things with passion and zest often carries you much farther than a purely pragmatic, goal-driven or ambition-driven approach.

Living For the Journey

Do you seek true contentment? A transcendental and lasting peace? Then put aside your goals. Tame the desirous nature of your ego.

Live not for the illusion of accomplishment, but for the invigorating richness of the moment.

Live for the journey, not for the goal.